Here Without You
by FrancescaBoscorelli
Summary: Fic based on a song by 3 Doors Down.Totally Roomies fluff.I suck at summaries!
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Here without you  
**Pairing**: ROOMIES!!  
**Spoiler**: end of 13th season,which sucked by the way.  
**Disclaimer**: they do not belong to me.

**Note**: This fic is based on a the song "Here without you" by 3 Doors Down.I heard it on my classmates funeral and it got stuck on my head so I thought I could write something with it.God! I miss my Roomies! I miss Ray! (cries) DAMN ER WRITERS!

**perdona Panchito que este usando tu cancion,espero no te importe!**

btw,the words in italic are part of a falshback,thought I should tell you that!

ENJOY!

Melissa,you rock.as usual!

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_Ray Barnett walked inside his apartment, dragging his feet. He dropped his jacket and bag next to the couch, as he sat next to Neela. She smiled at him._

_"You look like hell," she said._

_"Yeah," he sighed._

_She sat up straight, looking directly at him, then she took a large plain present out from under the couch. He smiled, awkwardly._

_"Happy birthday, Ray." She handed the present over and hugged him. "I hope you like it."_

_"You didn't have to do this, Neela," he whispered, sweetly._

_"Of course I had to! You´re my best friend."_

_They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of them knowing what to say. Ray sighed and turned his face to his gift. Smiling like a five-year-old boy, he ripped the paper off._

_"Wow, Neela!" he yelled. She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. "This is fantastic!"_

_He kept staring at an old, long play on his hand. She could see he was truly happy, when he hugged her tight._

_"I guess you like it," she said. He nodded._

_"I love it. Thank you."_

_"You're most certainly welcome."_

_He stared once again, blankly at the his new acquisition, this time thinking about something Neela couldn't guess. He turned to his roommate, taking her hand and squeezing it. She felt as if he wanted to tell her something and didn't know how._

_"There's something I want to give you," he said. Neela frowned at him. "I know maybe this is kinda late for your birthday. The truth is, I couldn't find the right present. I thought about it a lot and then I gave up so..."_

_He took a necklace with a silver ring on it from his neck and place it in Neela's hand._

_She stared strangely at him. "Ray, what are you doing?"_

_"I want you to have this," he said._

_"Why?" she asked, still confused._

_"It will keep us close," he whispered._

Neela stared blankly at Ray's locker. She slowly caressed the silver necklace on her neck, sighing at the memories of her old life. She touched the letters framed on it, as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. She was so absorbed in her thoughts, that didn't notice Abby looking at her from the door.

"Hey," Abby said, calling Neela's attention. "How you feeling?"

She sighed. "I'm getting better." She again turned her attention to the locker. Abby caressed her back, sweetly.

"It's been a month, Neela," she said. "Give it time."

"I know," Neela whispered, unable to stop the tears from coming. "I just miss him so much."

"But he´s fine. I mean, I know what happened to him was awful and I know I sound cold by saying it but, he´s alive Neela," Abby said, causing Neela to look at her.

"I know he´s fine, Abby," Neela said. "I just wish things would be different, you know?" She sighed again. "I can't help but feel guilty about this."

"Hey, no! Don't do this to yourself," Abby protested. "It was an accident and you know it. You can't live your life feeling guilty."

"I feel there's something left to do, you know? Something to help him out."

"Maybe there is. You just have to take some time to figure it out."

Neela smiled kindly at her and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Abby."

"No problem, that what friends are for."

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter three is gonna tak longer than I thought.Why? well,I'm sick again! yeah my life sucks! the doctors said I should stay on bed rest for at least 48 hours.I just got up to write a little bit and I'll back in bed.**

**Hope you like this one.**

**oh and Benjamin Mclaren belongs to moi :)**

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Neela walked inside the doctor's lounge quickly, as she always did after a long shift. She was immediately distracted by a tall, brown-haired man, staring at the lockers; Ray's locker to be more precise. She frowned at the sight of him.

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" she asked, as the man opened it slowly. He turned his attention toward her.

"They said it was empty," he said. "The locker, I mean."

She walked a few steps closer to him and put her hand on the locker, stopping him from open it any further.

"It has an owner," she said angrily, pointing at Ray's name.

"I thought he was-"

"-The fact that he isn't here does not mean you have the right to take what's not yours." She looked at him with narrowed eyes. He backed away, slowly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," he said. "I just did what they told me."

"Let me clarify something to you," she said, angrily. "As long as I'm here, this locker can't and won't be touched, understood?"

He nodded. "Yes, Ma'am."

She turned away and left. He, once again, turned his attention toward. the locker and sighed. "This is going to be a long day."

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He walked through the crowd of unfamiliar faces, every once in a while turning around to ask someone for directions. He stopped closer to where all the doctors and nurses gathered together. He waved a hand to the few nurses and doctors he already met; all except one.

"Okay, listen up everybody!" Morris yelled for everyone's attention. "As you all noticed, we have a new intern."

They looked at the stranger among them, whose hand was waving in a friendly but awkward way to them. Abby was the only one who smiled kindly here; the rest of the team didn't seem to pay much attention to him.

"Hi," the man whispered, nervously. "I'm Benjamin McLaren."

"He's from NYC," Morris interrupted, knowing he could barely talk from all the glances he was getting; especially Neela, who looked as if she wanted to kill someone.

"Is he going to replace him?" Neela asked. Nobody had to ask to who she was referring to.

"Neela," Abby whispered to her friend, touching her arm softly. She pushed her away.

"I want to know," she asked again.

"We need a new doctor," Morris said. "But it doesn't mean he's replacing Ray."

She stared at the new doctor, who obviously had no idea who Ray was. She didn't have the energy to explain. He forced a smile at her, which made her even more mad than she was before. She walked away, trying hard not to show any signs of her anger.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ben asked to no one in particular. Abby shook her head and followed Neela.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks everyone for thos niiiice reviews! I'll be out of town tomorrow so I'm not sure if I'll be able to post anything,if I can't I'll do it on friday so stay tune!**

**Fran**

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Abby didn't need to run; she knew exactly where Neela was. On the roof, looking at the beautiful landscape before her eyes. Chicago was beautiful this time of the year. She walked slowly, taking her time with each step she took, afraid Neela would run away from her.

"I never meant to snap like that," Neela said, without looking at Abby. She nodded, even though her friend couldn't see her.

"It's understandable, under the circumstances," Abby said. "But you know nobody is trying to replace him."

Neela bit her lip, trying not to cry. She hated getting this emotional as much as she hated blaming everyone for trying to move on. Abby walked closer to her, touching Neela's shoulder softly.

"I miss him," she said. "I want him back, I want everything to be normal again."

"And it will be, you just have to give it time." She was fighting the tears herself. Seeing her friend like this broke her heart.

"I shouldn't have talked to the new guy like that."

"There's still time for you to apologize," Abby said, smiling.

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He cursed for the tenth time, as he pushed his things from his locker. He was never that messy, but now he barely had time for himself. Especially since every time he needed help, there was nobody to be found. He cursed one more time before giving up on his search, resting his head on the already closed locker. He let out a long, heavy sigh.

"Having troubles already?" Neela asked from the door.

He turned around and smiled politely at her, even though he was scared she might snap at him again for using the locker.

"I lost my stethoscope again." He sighed one more time. She walked closer to him carefully, trying not to scare him.

"I...I wanted to apologize for what happened."

He shrugged. "It's okay. I figured you were mad at me for using the locker."

"I was. But it's not just you," she whispered and shook her head. "Never mind, you wouldn't understand."

She walked towards the door but he quickly stopped her by grabbing her arm. She pushed herself away from him.

"Sorry, I just thought you could explain what happened," he explained himself, seeing Neela's reaction at the sudden contact.

"It's complicated."

"Nothing is too complicated for someone who wants to listen," he said, smiling. "And I'll help if you let me, of course."

"My friend Ray Barnett, he had a car accident two months ago." She stopped, closing her eyes at the painful memory. "He suffered a below the knee amputation."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, politely. "It must have been hard."

"It's been hard," she answered, quickly.

"Especially for you, I assume," he said, with a smile.

Neela stared at him, wondering how could he read her so easily. The only one who could do that was Ray.

"Of course, Ray was-" She closed her eyes and sighed heavily "-Ray is my friend. It was hard for me to see him suffer."

"Where is he now?"

"Baton Rouge, Louisiana. His mother is taking good care of him."

"Do you see him often?"

She frowned. "Do you always ask so many questions?"

He nodded.

"I don't see him as often as I wish," she continued. "But we do write each other almost every day."

"But you feel that's not enough?" he asked, but felt as if he was talking to himself, since Neela didn't answer. "Do you want my advice?"

She looked at him with narrowed eyes. If she said no, she figured he was going to talk either way. Slowly, she nodded

"Try to keep him closer."

She blinked. "That's it?" she asked, confused. "That's YOUR advice?"

"I never said it was going to be good." She shook her head and he let out a frustrated sigh.

"What I'm trying to say is, find a way for you to be with him not only by letters and phone calls. Even though it seems right, it's never enough."

He was right. The phone calls and letter seemed right to Neela. At first, it made her feel better to know Ray was doing fine and hearing his voice every now and then always put a smile on her face. But after the last few weeks, nothing seemed to make her smile. Talking to him on the phone left a bittersweet feeling. It wasn't what she wanted. She missed Ray and nothing could make the emptiness go away.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 is finally here! sorry it took so long...I was tired as hell yesterday...I´m still kinda off...**

**enjoy.**

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She approached Morris carefully, a smile on her face. She was hoping that Morris wouldn't realize what her intentions were. She watched him write quickly, but didn't interrupted at all.

"Do you need anything or do you just love watching me write?" He smiled.

She was about you give him a nice answer but stopped. She had to try and be nice to him. She was, after all, trying to ask him a favor.

"Actually, I need a favor," she said. Morris frowned.

"Ask Lockheart."

"You don't even know what it is!" she protested. Apparently it worked, because Morris left his chart aside letting her know she had his attention.

"Fine, spill it out."

She smiled. "Well, I haven't take my vacations yet, so I was wondering-"

He was shaking his head and walking away, before she could finish. She followed close, almost running behind him since he made no intention of stopping.

"There's no way in hell I'm gonna let you take vacation now."

"Why not?" she protested.

"Why not?!" he laughed. Neela stared at him, confused. Suddenly he stopped laughing and walking. "Look around you. We´re stuck, I can´t allow another resident to go away."

She looked around them. The ER never looked so crowded before; it was scary to see how everybody was running everywhere. They could barely stay still without being pushed by someone in the way.

"It's only for a few days. There´s something I need to take care of."

She didn't know if it was thee way she begged or maybe something on her face, but seconds later Morris was nodding.

"Thank you. I´ll be back in a few days."

She ran towards the doctor's lounge and crashed into Abby on the way. She stopped her, before she walked away running again.

"Where are you going?" Abby said, smiling at her friend´s sudden mood.

"To buy a plane ticket." She smiled, as she grabbed a few things from her locker

"A plane ticket to where?"

"Baton Rouge." She smiled again.

"Wow," was all Abby managed to say. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Of course, I´ll just be gone for a couple of days," she said, but seeing as Abby seemed uneasy with her answer, she tried again. "Abby, I haven't seen Ray in months. I miss him. I wanna see him again and talk like old times."

"Why don't you call him, then?"

"Because I'm tired of phone calls! I wanna make sure he's okay."

"And I'm sure he is, Neela," Abby whispered, walking toward her. "But it's not necessary for you to travel all the way down to Louisiana to find out."

"Abby," she whispered. "I need to do this, please. I would like your support."

Abby smiled sweetly and hugged her, patting her back softly. "Of course you have my support, that´s what friends are for," she said. "But you have to promise me you won't do anything stupid." By stupid, she meant leaving without saying a word or make decisions without asking a second opinion.

"I won't." They were just words. Neela knew she couldn't promise anything to her, not since she was so desperate to see Ray and not to mention to follow Benjamin's advice.

**TBC**


End file.
